I just wish I had a car, some place to go, someone to just sit in a restaurant and drink coffee with. It’s days like this where I just get so rattled that I just need to escape. I’m tired of thinking the more I don’t escape and have to face it the stronger I become. What exactly am I becoming stronger to? Or stronger for? Am I just going to be desensitized to my dad’s suffering? Am I just going to become cold? Like, what the fuck is the point of this exercise?